November 17

We learned about companioning last workshop. This is a very important communication skill that:

Requires deep listening
Is most effective when we don’t have any “agenda”
Is meant to support and empower, not fix or rescue
Primarily consists of silence and open-ended questions
Requires trust in the other person’s process
Requires compassion for the person and detachment from the situation

Please practice this companioning technique with a friend or a family member using the chart you were given in the class as a guide. Write few lines about your experience: what did you like about it? How did the other person feel afterwards? What was most helpful?

We are looking forward to seeing your thoughtful responses.

28 comments

  1. Flying Mandarin

    It makes my friend comfortable when she talks to me about when she had a stressful day.
    I like the way we get to choose our partners because it’s comfortable talking to someone you know.
    It was helpful to say your feelings to your friend that you can trust.

  2. SKOULE

    In class I shared my story with my partner, “K”.
    I was walking by the hall way stairs when I saw my best friend, we we’re walking by each other, I came up and said Hi. She just walked by, I have been her friend since grade 3. I know her faces. It looked like I did some wrong.
    K asked me questions to help solve my problems, it was a nice talk. It made me feel much better, afterwards she told me that it was okay everyone goes through it. It helped my day.

  3. crazymemeslol123

    I talked to my sister and I told she was getting reckless so she understood what I meant then she told me she knew I didn’t like it so she stopped afterwards and I feel my trust coming back to her like when we were younger.

  4. Amythest

    In class I was with O*****. We discussed something that was sad for “O”. I think it helped because talking with someone else can really help, no matter what the subject is. I was asking questions that I thought would be helpful and make it easier to talk about the subject. When I shared, I thought it helped when someone really understands and makes you feel better.

    • naslithony

      I am glad to hear that companioning was helpful for both you and your friend. Asking open ended questions made it easier to talk about the topic. Thank you for your honest feedback.

  5. the engineer

    I tried this exercise with my mom. She said that it was nice to talk to her son about her problems at work. It felt weird talking to my mom like that because it was really becoming personal. We don’t usually talk like that. Those problems are not the kind of problems that I understand because they were about adult topics. Even though my mom might have some problems at work she is still a happy person because the problem isn’t that bad and she has a loving family.

    • naslithony

      You are right, you don’t usually talk like this with your parents. It sounds like your mom appreciated your thoughtfulness and considerate attitude when you companioned her through work problems.

  6. Slapshot18

    My friend felt it was freeing to tell me about a recent problem in her life. It also allowed me to gain new information about her, and how I can help her in future situations. The most helpful part about this experience was knowing she could trust me with this information, and I felt that we connected a bit more after.

    • naslithony

      I am glad to hear that this was a bonding experience for you and your friend. It sounds like through companioning you increased your respect and trust for each other.

  7. smeagaleater10

    A family member and I had a conversation with the virtues project companioning sequence. I liked the aspect of the sheet that made the conversation thorough and secure I think that aspect was also the most helpful part too. The other person felt uncomfortable after but kind of relived to talk about the topic.

    • naslithony

      Yes, it can be little bit uncomfortable in the beginning to go through the companioning process. I appreciate your persevarance in communicating with your dad in this manner. It sounds like you uncovered some deep issues.

  8. purple pom-poms

    When I talked to z… one of my siblings, about one of his problems I think it helped him think about his problem more, but not just in his head, out loud. It helped him recognize what he was going to say to the people in his problem. I also found it very interesting hearing it out loud.

  9. the Time traveler

    I talked with my mom and did this technique and it went pretty well because afterwards she said it was nice to talk to someone about the matter. This is good because then when you have other problems with other friends or family members you can have this kind of conversation.

  10. S.P.E.W

    I was sitting down after dinner and went to talk to my mom and started doing this activity with her. I really enjoyed doing this with my mom because this weekend she was quite stressed out by her work and I think doing this helped me by getting to see how this can help her in the future and for my mom getting everything out and just expressing how today was with all the ups and downs. After I finished this with my mom she felt really good just getting to tell someone about all things that weren’t going well for her and what was really making her feel better about her day.

  11. Spamlington

    I practiced this technique with my dad, and I found out that he had left his wallet at a work site and he had had to go back and retrieve it. This had made him feel frustrated. What I liked about this style of conversation was that it was less awkward, and I got to have a good sense of what happened in his day and how he felt without feeling like I was being nosy and annoying. Afterward, my dad felt calm and more patience than he did before, and I felt the same way. Being able to talk so openly gave me a sense of serenity, and I felt proud that I was able to talk like that in a time where that doesn’t really happen that much anymore. I think the most helpful thing is listening while the other person is talking because, as we heard in class, really listening to what the other person is saying makes it a lot more of a pure conversation.

    • naslithony

      Thank you for your honest feedback. It sounded like you and your dad had a great companioning session. At the end of it, you both felt more calm and serene. You are right, in our busy lives, we don’t make time for this kind of communication despite the fact it is very helpful. I hope you keep on practicing.

  12. Joaquin

    I did this with one of my sisters. It was very interesting talking like this when you know what your going to say. My sister felt like she got stuff off her chest with the talk. I think having the virtues list was very helpful.

    • naslithony

      I am glad to hear that by asking her open ended questions, you helped your sister get some stress relief by providing the opportunity to talk. I appreciate your commitment to using the virtues language and companioning. Keep up the good work.

  13. sparkle sloth

    I did this with my brother J**** it was very different from the way we usually talk to each other. it was interesting because i did not know he felt that way and that this happened to him. He did not think he got the grade he deserved in school. He appreciated it when I listed the virtues he has, such as commitment, determination, perseverance and mindfulness.

  14. GamingPickle84

    I talked with my mom about all the problems she has had and i did the same i think it helped with both of our problems and we relly enoyed it and got alot off my cheast

  15. KILIMANJARO

    I disscused high school descisions with C*****. We have figured out where we want to go and I am happy we are in sync with choices

  16. Arcticfox

    Me and R*** about how i had a stressful day with lots of chicken drama. Talking to R*** made me feel so much better about myself and how lucky i actually was. I was way happier after that.

  17. Sushi Monster

    I listened to J**** about her stressful weekend with not a lot of sleep. Asking open ended questions gave her more options to answer and express her feelings. It was hard to think of open ended questions that did not solve the problem. It was helpful when I listened really carefully.

  18. Touchdown

    I did this with my mom and she what she said is that she was really stressed out about report cards and how they are lots of work and how it takes up most of her day. After we talked she felt a lot better and said that it was very helpful for her to explain her problem then she was able to figure a solution herself.

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