October 27, 2016
Recognizing Teachable Moments
We need to practice using the language of virtues when facing daily challenges. This help us rise above the situation and recognize the gift it offers, the opportunity to hone our virtues and become lifelong learners. We can turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones, by take into responsibility to amend mistakes and by being open to learning from tests/difficulties. Recognizing teachable moments allows us to replace shaming and labelling with positive virtues.
Let’s rename and reframe:
1. Think of a person you know whose behaviour challenges you.
2. Rename their basic character trait as a virtue:
E.g. Stubbornness = Determination
Talking back = Honesty
3. Identify the virtue you want to encourage them to practice.
4. Put in a positive sentence.
“Alan, that was very honest when you shared your opinion. How can you say that in a more respectful way?”
Or ” Cinderella, I see your peacefulness and obedience. What will give you the confidence you need to attend the Prince’s ball?”
Please give your example.
Sometimes this happens, mine is: z… can you please be a bit less honest when I’m telling you something?
I think you are looking for the virtue of tact to balance honesty.
You can say Z… can you please be a little more tactful when I am telling you something?
Remember, we talked about what tact means during class…
Purple Pom-poms, good try. I think you are trying to balance tact with honesty.
Perhaps you can say: z… can you please be more tactful when I am telling you something?
Billy, I really appreciate your enthusiasm, but maybe you could share the glory of our project with the rest of the group.
Engineer, are you trying to balance enthusiasm with consideration?
So maybe you can say: Billy, I appreaciate your enthusiasm, can you please be more considerate of the group when you are sharing your feelings?
Impatient=sensitive M****** that was very kind of you to say sorry next time can you please say it in a more respectful and mindful way.
Sushi Monster, great example. I guess you are addressing the tone the message was delivered. You can even say: that was very kind of you to say sorry, can you please say it next time in a more sincere way?
My brother.
Insulting=truthful.
Sam you sounded very trulful when you called me a nimrod… but how could you be more respectful?
Lord of the pies 05, good try. You can say: Sam, I appreciate your honesty, can you be more respectful/considerate/tactful (any of them are good) when you speak to me?
Getting mad=Goodness
If someone is not listen to what you are trying to teach,you get mad for the goodness of your heart to teach.
Flying Mandarin,
I am not sure which character trait you are trying to name as a virtue?
Maybe try, I appreciate your detachment but can you please be more mindful and caring when I am trying to teach you something new?
Impatient=curious
Can you please respect that some people are trying to work?
Amythest, so what is the the character trait you are trying to name as virtue?
Maybe try, I appreciate your enthusiasm, can you please show some respect and consideration since I am trying to work?
annoying=passionate
For example my brother J****: You have been very passionate on singing, but could you be more mindful that I’m trying to work here?
Good example super cheese cake.
Irritating=peaceful
Umm… Excuse me next time please be more thoughtful of what your saying next time be more respectful😌
French waffles, good job. Don’t forget the first part. It was very honest of you to share your opinion, next time can you be please more thoughtful in what you say?
Stubborn=patience my sister can be a bit upset when she doesn’t want to respect our mom I hope she finds some love for our mom.
For example, you can say to your sister, I appreciate your determination in sticking to the schedule, can you please be more flexible and patient with our mom when things change last minute?
Repetitive = hard working
I know you are hard working but next time could you maybe be more original and respectful of the people around you?
Sparkle Sloth, how about putting it this way? I appreciate your diligence to this project. How can you be more cooperative/considerate/respectful of the group?
Obnoxious = helpfulness
I know that you are trying to be helpful but maybe you can ask in a nicer way next time.
Great, maybe you are looking for the virtue of tact or respect… How about this….
I know that you are trying to be helpful but maybe next time how can you be more tactful or respectful?
Rude –confident
I have a freind who calles people mean words he seems to think he’s better then everyone but he also seems to be confident so that would be his virtue.i will use a fake name . John you seem to be very confident it would be nice if you used that confidence to bring people up instead of down.
Great try Time Traveler – how about putting it this way,
John, I appreciate your confidence, how can you show caring, friendliness or kindness to bring people up?
Not very rushed=Peacefulness
Tom, I know that you are very peaceful but maybe next time you could know when you need to hurry.
Good try Touchdown, you are very close,,,
How about this…
Tom, I know that you are very peaceful but maybe next time can you be more considerate about the time factor?
Imagination = creativity
Sandra I know you love to be creative but you need to know when you have to be realistic.
Soccer boy, how about soften it up like this….
Sandra, I know you love being creative, how can you be more open and diligent about the set timelines and criteria to finish the work?
determination=patience
I see your determination during this activity but could you please be more patient with the people around you.
Excellent example Baconator.
Chooses times after they should be done=Flexible
F******* I see that you would like this to be more flexible for you but that doesn’t fit the needs of everyone else.
SPEW, I am not sure what character trait you are trying to rename as a virtue?
How about? I appreciate your honesty about your needs, can you also be mindful of the needs of the group?
Rude=Confidence
H*****, your Confidence is not excepted, Please try to be more Honest and Respectful of me.
Arcticfox, how about if you try this…
H…, I admire your confidence. How can you be more honest and respectful when you are interacting with me?
E** I appreciate your enthusiasm to play soccer with me but I really want to read, next time can you please be more patient by waiting until I am finished reading?
Great example, smeagaleater10.
When G*** and I argue, G*** I appreciate your Determination towards highways being a Canadian version of freeway but if we could be a little less Determined we could come to an agreement. (a long version of lets agree to disagree).
Pink Pickle, you almost have it.
How about? G… I appreciate your commitment to your definition of a highway, how can you be more flexible and be open to other points of view?
From my moms perspective: S**** instead of criticizing your sister show her how to do it right!!
“D……” I tell you my secrets, can you please be Trustful and not tell anyone, “C…..” came up to me and said “I know your secret of where you eat” “now I don’t know if I can trust you any more. Just please be mindful, what if I told someone your secrets? How would you feel?”
Restlessness = zeal
Jeffery, I understand that you have zeal for this activity, but you need to have patience when waiting in line.